Are you watching the impeachment hearings?
When are you going to meet a nice boy/girl and settle down?
How much did that new car cost you?
Family holidays are a time of love, celebration, and spending time together. In a perfect world, there is nothing but holiday cheer and laughter around the table when your family gathers. That is until hard topics like politics, relationships, and money start to pop up over the relish tray or between bites of green bean casserole. Here are some tips for navigating family gatherings this holiday season. 
Change the Conversation
Do you remember our very first blog, where we talked about the TV show Mad Men? Well, although fictional advertising guru Don Draper isn’t exactly someone to emulate when it comes to romantic relationships, he did have one famous mantra that can help keep you sane during the holidays: “If you don’t like what’s being said, change the conversation.”
If you don’t want to talk about politics, your love life, or how you (a grown-ass adult) spends your hard-earned money to prying family members, change the conversation. You heard me. Just. Change. It. Conversations frequently go off on tangents, and there is no reason you cannot hard-steer into the direction you want the conversation to go.
For the political questions, “No, but did you see (insert your favorite show)? How many times will they keep us on the edge of our seat?” The intrusive relationship questions, “Did I tell you where I just booked a trip? Have you ever been there?” Whatever you can come up with to take the pressure off of you, just go for it! Nobody is judging your conversational skills, what’s important here is that you steer your way out of those award conversations that cause stress and strife.
Focus on the Positive
If your family causes you to get stressed out, make a list of all of the positive things that you love about them before you arrive. Whether it’s memories of previous years, your favorite annual traditions, or traits that you love about them, write them out, like a gratitude journal devoted entirely to your extended family.
So, you and your brother-in-law have political views that are 180 degrees different and his opinions drive you insane? {eh, hmm} What about his good qualities? Is he a good dad to your nieces and nephews? Is he head over heels in love with your sibling? Focusing on all of the good things can help you survive if and when an awkward conversation comes up.
Breathe & Practice Mindfulness
Sometimes people are just not going to agree on certain things, no matter how much you love each other. You do not have to be dragged into it, you can step away and give yourself a private moment to simply breathe. Breathe in, breathe out, focus on your breath, and repeat this for a little while, simply being.
Practicing mindfulness can help you become more compassionate to the “why” behind how certain family members behave or act. It may help you be more compassionate to the fears and personal experiences that drive their behavior. Or it might just bring you back to a feeling of peace within yourself. Either way, by taking just a few minutes to yourself to focus on your breath, you can find some serenity in an otherwise hectic, loud, noisy gathering.
Talk to Us
Either before or after your holiday gatherings, come and talk to us at Forward Emotion. Seriously. That’s why we are here. Whether you come in for a Reiki session, individual therapy, or something else, we are here for you. If you aren’t sure about how to get started, Forward Emotion will be at the Crystal Ranch Expo, happening 12.8.19. Sabrina Washington will be offering mini Reiki sessions and I might be selling something fun…possibly some tarot inspired jewelry. I hope you can check it out. Or if you cannot make it there, Sabrina is offering 20% off of her Reiki sessions, just in time for holiday season energy clearing.
