Warning: This post contains profanities.
The other day I was scrolling through Facebook and I noticed the targeted ad of the day. It was for a journal called, “Fuck this Shit Show: A Gratitude Journal for Tired-Ass Women.” I laughed at first when I saw it, but the more I read about the contents of the journal, the more I embraced how awesome it is! I kinda want to order one for myself. Not only can you rate your day in pineapples [how fun is that?] but it has prompts like “Today, I’m happy I did…” and “I’m lucky to have…” to get you started. There are also motivational quotes like, “Just punch fear in the fucking face. Then go eat a taco.”
First of all, let’s get over the stigma of swearing so openly. Swearing has such a social stigma attached to it, which is really just bullshit. Words only have meaning because we humans give them meaning, yet we have dubbed certain words as “bad” or “dirty” or “obscene” and not suitable for everyday usage. We are supposed to feel guilty or as if we need to change our behavior or language when we swear profusely. Of all the things we can make ourselves feel bad about, the vocabulary we use to express ourselves, to get rid of anger and negativity, should be the last thing we need to worry about!
Of all of the “curse” words, fuck is the biggest and baddest swear word of them all. I mean, think about the holiday classic A Christmas Story, when adult Ralphie who is narrating the story calls the word fuck, “THE word, the big one, the queen-mother of dirty words, the “F-dash-dash-dash” word!”
Fuck is such a versatile word. It can be a noun, verb, adverb, adjective, a conjunction, an article, an interjection, and even a preposition. And yet it is one of the most taboo of all of the swear words in the English language. It is also one that I embrace whole-heartedly. Sometimes, there are just no other words that work as well or convey the same emotion and meaning. Fortunately, research has shown that swearing is actually good for you.
In an article in Psychology Today, Dr. Neel Burton wrote that swearing can help with improved physical and psychological health. He writes, “The health benefits of swearing include increased circulation, elevated endorphins, and an overall sense of calm, control, and well-being.” He also indicates that swearing helps with feelings of being in control, “Swearing can give us a greater sense of power and control over a bad situation. By swearing, we show, if only to ourselves, that we are not passive victims but empowered to react and fight back. This can boost our confidence and self-esteem and motivate and mobilize us to take corrective action.”
As a mental health professional and the founder of Forward Emotion, where we offer therapies like reiki healing, life-coaching, art therapy, meditation, and other modalities that promote mindfulness, some people might be surprised at the fact that I embrace swear words as I do. But the thing is, mental health is not always sunsets, flowers, and pretty fonts. Mental health is about real life, and in real life, sometimes you just have to say fuck that shit to get through the crappy days. Sometimes you have to ugly cry, swear, be angry, and release all of the negative emotions to free up some space for the good feelings to come out and for the positive energy to flow.
In fact, anger is an emotion I often encourage my clients to show and express. Too often, we are told to calm down, don’t be so sensitive or reactive, chill out, etc. Anger is a healthy, natural, human emotion. Instead of ignoring it, pushing it down and not releasing it, we should be embracing it, expressing it and getting it the fuck out BUT in healthy ways. Swearing, as long as it is not hurtful and aimed at another (or ourselves), is a very healthy way to release anger. As Shrek says, “better out than in”.
So, although this journal that I came across was printed a little bit tongue-in-cheek, there are benefits to letting loose in a journal like this whether it is pre-printed, or in your own journal that you make. It doesn’t matter what type of journal you use, it’s the fact that you are doing it, and that you feel free to use whatever language you like. It’s ok to toss out that “Dear Diary” bullshit you might have learned as a kid. It’s ok to abandon the structure and grammar you learned in English class. It’s ok to use whatever language you want to. It’s ok to just be you, curse words and all. The point is to let your real, authentic feelings out. I personally love Bridget Jones’ Diary and how she vented in it to release her fears, emotions, and thoughts freely. Good thing Mark Darcy understood she was only venting.
There are a few similar journals available through Amazon and other websites. I am not an affiliate, I don’t earn any commission if you order them. I love it that other people have embraced this concept and created these journals for people to use, so if you want to support them, that’s awesome! Or just create your own journal or write on a piece of paper (you can always burn it or shred it when you’re done) and write about the shit that no longer serves you, bullshit things that happened today, those fuckers who are no longer welcome in your life, or whatever else you are feeling or need to get out to clear the way for more positive energy. However you phrase it, the goal is to remove the filter that is holding you back from expressing yourself honestly, openly, and however the fuck you want to, F-dash-dash-dash words and all.
