The other day I was watching tv, my BFF [Best Furry Feline] by my side. Her name is Muffin, and one of my favorite things about her is that she lives her life without any guilt. None. She doesn’t feel guilty for sitting on the sofa with me watching television. She doesn’t worry about the things on her to-do list. She doesn’t wonder if she’s missing out on something. She’s happy just being a cat.
We humans, however, are a more complicated animal. We set goals, we make to-do lists, we obsess over our productivity, and feel guilty if we aren’t doing what we think is expected of us. Some of those things that we worry about are important [you know, like keeping a roof over our head, keeping our kids fed and all that stuff] and others are things that we’ve decided are more important than they really need to be. Our lives revolve around our man-made time tracking system, and we get down on ourselves if we don’t meet certain timelines that we’ve connected to our self-worth.
In a few weeks, we will be ringing in a new year – a new decade, as a matter of fact. And all around the world, people will make strict resolutions to do better in 2020 than they did in 2019, even though the new year is literally one day after the old year. I mean, when you think about it, it’s a one-second difference between 2019 and 2020. But we put pressure on ourselves to immediately adopt new habits literally overnight.
Stop smoking.
Eat healthy.
Get in shape.
Get organized.
All of those things are great changes to make in your life, but they don’t all have to commence at 12:01 on January 1, 2020, or even by January 2. Resolutions are ok, and you can find some research that says that they are great and that people truly stick to them, AND you can also find research that says that very few people stick to them. So let’s just say the hell with any of that research: if you do want to use the start of the new year to make positive changes in your life, the best way is to come up with a plan of action that you know you can successfully implement.
Everyone is different in their approach to implementing changes. In one couple I know, the husband is the type of person who has to go in all or nothing. If he is going to achieve a goal of eating better, he needs to toss out every single thing that is “bad” for him and eliminate it entirely from his diet. He needs that strictness, that total commitment to his process. His wife can use his method for about 2 days before she gets pissed off, feels too restricted, and gives up. She needs to implement small, gradual changes. Maybe the first week means measuring out her coffee creamer and keeping a food journal, and the week after that she starts drinking more water, and the week after that she starts walking again early in the morning. If she tries to change her entire life and all of her habits all at once, she will shut down and give up.
Since starting the Forward Emotion blog earlier this year, I’ve given some insight into the various ways that Erica Sokol, Sabrina Washington, and I can be of assistance in helping guide you through making positive changes in your life. We’ve talked about how therapy is not just for people who have been through substantial trauma or are in a dark place emotionally. We’ve talked about art therapy, reiki healing, and holistic life coaching. Therapy and coaching can help you make positive changes that you can really, truly sustain in your life, whether it’s to work toward career goals, develop all-around healthy eating and exercise habits, or simply get the most joy and happiness out of your time here on earth.
So, before you toss out half of your pantry and sign up for that year-long gym membership on January 1, come and talk to one of us. We will help you create a plan that you can stick with so that instead of feeling the frustration that accompanies abandoned resolutions, you can feel the satisfaction of achieving goals that you’ve set to live your life the way you want to. Click here to contact us to start working on your goals.
