For many right now, the sky has been raining, raining, raining! It causes a lack of patience and irritation as we constantly question how many layers to wear and when our surrounding landscapes will finally grow. But we know the soil is soaking up all that water to get those underground seeds sprouting and blossoming.
What about in everyday life when it feels like it’s “raining, raining, raining”? A frustrating job, traffic tickets, family drama, etc… We may be able to trust nature to bring us Springtime, but sometimes life can feel less certain.
Patience and trust play important roles in navigating the unknown as we wait for results. That’s why, for this month’s blog, we chose to talk about tools and exercises for patience. Our team of therapists, life coaches, and healers is here to help you learn to breathe more patience into your everyday life with these three tools.
1. Mindfulness
The term “mindfulness” has been growing in popularity over the years. It’s typically associated with “meditation” which triggers many people to shrug it off. While they can overlap, they aren’t necessarily the same thing. Many people find mindfulness much more approachable than the idea of “emptying your mind” for meditation. Here’s how you can try it:
- Take a deep breath in and out. Don’t let the many breathwork techniques overwhelm you. Your body breathes 24/7 without having to think about it consciously. If you need a structure, try something simple like counting in for 4 counts, holding for 4 counts, and out for 8 counts.
- After 4 or so deep in- and exhalations, give each of your senses a few moments of attention. What colors or patterns surround you? What sounds are playing amongst your atmosphere? Run your tongue along your teeth to recognize any lingering tastes. Use a few of your inhalations to smell any scents around you. Give yourself a hug and feel the temperature of your own body.
- Mindfulness preoccupies the monkey mind by perceiving the plethora of details around you once your other senses are engaged. Allow more moments of attention throughout a body scan or for any pressing thoughts or emotions coming up. There’s no need to judge yourself for what comes up. Simply recognize and observe it.
- Before you know it, your nervous system has begun to relax and your lungs are enjoying much deeper breaths. You can revel in this state anywhere from 2 minutes to multiple hours!
2. Have a Positive Outlook (and no, not the toxic kind)
A regulated positive outlook often means finding something good and/or worthwhile in every situation (even the icky ones). Seeing life through a positive framework is extremely important because it allows us to trust that a roadblock does not equate to failure. This doesn’t mean we need to slap on a smile and ignore the struggles happening to and around us, but there are times to honor our less pleasant emotions and other times to strengthen our resistance to challenges. Here are a couple practical examples:
Let’s say you’re driving or taking a bus to work. Traffic gets held up or something breaks down. You have a choice: 1) panic at the prospect of being late and the possible (and likely exaggerated) consequences that deregulate your nervous system or, 2) recognize that the situation is out of your control and trust that you’ll get to where you need to go. Who knows, maybe the universe was looking out for you and making you “late” for a terrible accident or interaction. It’s impossible to know why things happen the way they do!
Now let’s say you’re doing an activity like cycling or rollerblading. When you see a rough spot of road in the trail, what do you do? Do you scream, come to a halt, and likely hurt yourself from the fall? Or, do you mentally prepare, readjust your body, and glide around or through the rough area? There are less uncomfortable ways to deal with uncomfortable situations.
What areas of your life could you “trust” or “glide” over more gracefully? Sure, this way of thinking doesn’t make those tricky challenges disappear, but they can make them much more bearable.
3. Lessons to Learn
Sometimes, life throws you lemons. While it’s important to make time and space to process the challenges from said lemons, at some point, we want to be able to turn them into lemonade. In other words, when life gets tough, what can you gain from the experience? What can you learn about yourself that makes you stronger from this day forward? Think back to previous challenges that you moved forward from and shaped you into the person you are today. When a new toss of lemons comes your way, remember that you are strong and will get through this round just like you did before.
If you currently use any of these tools or try one out, we’d love to hear about it! In the meantime, we have some other events coming up such as our Spirit Doll Workshop on May 20th. For more information and to register, contact Laura Clay at laura@forwardemotion.com.
You can learn more about our mental health services (women’s therapy, EMDR therapy, Reiki, Tarot, and more) on our website or by contacting us at 630-999-8236 or info@forwardemotion.com.
